Deleted Chapter from "The Marquise of Darkness: A Novel of Madame de Brinvilliers"

Below is my original first chapter for The Marquise of Darkness: A Novel of Madame de Brinvilliers. Reason I deleted it is because when I’d completed the book and revised it a few times, I felt the second chapter would make a stronger opener.

To test my theory, I sent the opening line of both chapters to six people, along with the opening lines to three other novels about Madame, without telling them which two were written by me. I asked the six people to decide which lines would make them want to continue reading on.

Three of the six liked the opening line for the first chapter, whereas all six liked the second chapter’s opener, so this made my decision to turn the original Chapter 2 into Chapter 1.

The outtake below is set five years before the opening chapter in the published novel. Madame was not a marquise during this period. She was La Baronne de Nourar. It's naturally not as polished as the published novel, but I thought I'd share it anyway as a Halloween 'treat'.

1

AN ANOUNCEMENT

July 1654

 

‘By the way, husband dearest, I’m pregnant with my cousin’s baby.’

Antoine Gobelin, Baron de Nourar, glanced up from his afternoon meal. He narrowed his gaze, chewing on a piece of well-done steak.

He tasted some champagne before responding.

‘Your cousin’s baby? Is this a joke?’

‘It’s no joke.’

‘You hate the ugly old goat! What possessed you to shack up with him?’

His wife’s face darkened.

‘Is that all you can say? Your wife’s going to give birth to a bastard and all you do is question her taste in lovers.’

The baron shrugged and swallowed more champagne before answering.

‘You’ve given me a son and a daughter, Madeleine. Your duty’s done. I’m happy to raise as many of your bastards as you like. Don’t worry, they’ll have my name. Nobody need know, unless that’s what you want.’

Madeleine clenched her fists.

‘What I want is for my husband to stop spreading his seed around other women and come back to my bed. I don’t want a reputation as a whore.’

The baron took another drink and sighed.

‘This is the natural way with our type of marriage. We have a baby or two together, then we each take a lover.’

Madeleine’s nails dug into her palms. She mustn’t lose control, not with servants due to clear the table any minute.

She spoke through clench teeth.

‘Why wouldn’t you want me?’

The baron downed the remainder of his champagne and pushed the flute-shaped glass aside.

‘It’s not that I don’t want you, Madeleine. If nobody else was on offer I’d jump straight into bed with you, but life isn’t monogamous for people of our station. If –’ He cut himself off as two female servants approached to clear the table. He rose, stroked his belly, and spoke to Madeleine in an indifferent tone. ‘I’m going for a nap before I head out later.’ He shimmied around the table and meandered a few paces across the huge room before turning to speak. ‘Oh, by the way, Happy Birthday, Madeleine.’

He turned and wandered off.

As the servants whisked to and fro, Madeleine fought to control her rage. To think, she jumped into bed with her ugly cousin for nothing. The whole point was to make her husband jealous and rekindle his passion for her when they married three years previously. The baron didn’t mind her not being a virgin, which made her think he loved her. Now, though, she must endure pregnancy with a child she didn’t want, fathered by a cousin she detested.